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tv   The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon  NBC  March 3, 2017 11:34pm-12:38am PST

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visit. there have been significant movement in the belly. the park plans to old contest to name the calf. april the giraffe.com. >> four weeks from now. >> chance for scattered rain for tomorrow. things pick up 5:00 to 8:00. there's no major river flooding threats based on this current model. >> have a great weekend. thanks for tuning in. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> steve: from studio 6b in rockefeller center in the heart of new york city, it's "the tonight show starring jimmy fallon." tonight, join jimmy and his guests -- samuel l. jackson, dakota fanning,
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musical guest, ed sheeran, and featuring the legendary roots crew. >> questlove: 636, missouri, yeah! >> steve: and now, here he is, jimmy fallon! ♪ ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: hi, everyone, welcome! [ cheers and applause ] hot crowd. hot crowd tonight, welcome, everyone. welcome to "the tonight show." this is it. you made it, you're here! [ cheers and applause ] that's what it's all about. welcome. well, here's what people are talking about. i saw that today in florida, president trump made his first visit to a school since taking office.
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trump was there for only five minutes, before yelling out, "when's recess? [ laughter and applause ] i have to tweet." did you see this? after it came out that attorney general jeff sessions had met with the russian ambassador, who revealed that donald trump jr was paid $50,000 to speak at an event hosted by russian allies. when asked who the russian allies were, he said, "my dad and jeff sessions." [ laughter and applause ] vice president mike pence is dealing with a bit of a scandal himself. it just came out that as governor of indiana, pence used a private aol email account to discuss sensitive matters like homeland security. [ light laughter ] when she heard, hillary clinton was like -- [ aol voice ] good-bye! [ applause ] >> jimmy: in big tv news today, arnold schwarzenegger announced that he is quitting "celebrity apprentice" because the show has quote "too much baggage." [ light laughter ] when arnold stormed out of the room, producers said, "eh, he'll be back." [ laughter and applause ]
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he's already at the chopper. he went to the chopper. he got to the chopper. get to the chopper! [ light laughter ] guys, today the movie "the shack" arrived in theaters. it is a heartwarming story about a man invited to visit a a mysterious supernatural house in the woods. "the shack" looks pretty good. but, i did think it was weird that they had shaq, as in shaquille o'neal, do the voices for all the characters. >> steve: really? >> jimmy: i don't know, take a look at the trailer. ♪ >> this letter showed up at my mailbox, with no tracks in the snow. you know this isn't a good idea, it's crazy. this is all i got. ♪ got a fire going inside if you want to warm up. where did he go? do i know you? not very well. we're going to work on that. look at those flowers blossoming, blooming into a big tree. look at the waterfall. water falling on me. that's shaq. hey that's me. this is shaq. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: look at the
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waterfall. listen to this. i read that air pollution from china, india and other asian countries have apparently drifted across the pacific ocean and is creating smog in the u.s. when he heard that, trump said, "we're going to build a giant fan and blow it right back at them." [ laughter and applause ] now guys, this is going viral. a youth basketball coach thought his own player was about to shoot at the wrong basket. i think he may have overreacted just a little bit. take a look at this. >> no! dude! no! no! no! [ laughter and applause ] >> jimmy: then he was like, "who wants pizza?" [ light laughter ] where was that guy when they were handing out the oscars envelope? >> steve: no, no, no! [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ]
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>> jimmy: well you guys, it's the end of another crazy week and since there's too much to talk, about instead of giving you a full week in review, we put together a little montage that just focuses on the key words used this week. time for another installment of, "this week in words." [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> the academy award for best picture -- >> you're impossible. go on. ♪ la la la la la la la la "la la land" ♪ ♪ moonlight what did you do moonlight this is the best picture ♪ ♪ even in my dreams this could not be true oscar shocker announce a wrong winner ♪ ♪ how did it happen the reason's not known for handing out the envelope to the presenter ♪ ♪ but he tweeted this photo of emma stone ♪ ♪ feet on the couch in the oval office kellyanne conway a new headline ♪ ♪ speaking of robots it's name is handle amazing and terrifying at the same time ♪ ♪ a major speech for president trump is going to make the speech ♪ ♪ his own ♪ the time trivial fight is behind us ♪
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♪ he was more presidential in his tone ♪ ♪ more presidential more presidential more presidential and that would be good ♪ ♪ mr. speaker from the bottom to the top let me hear you hollywood ♪ ♪ ♪ china ♪ [ clapping ] ♪ jeff sessions arrives in a -- health care could be so complicated ♪ >> i wasn't trying to be funny. [ applause ] >> jimmy: we have a great show tonight, give it up for the roots! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: whoa. that is fantastic. that's herb albert. >> alpert. >> jimmy: alpert. we were -- today -- questlove you're a genius. you are actually like a human music encyclopedia.
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dude, i had this song in my head, i can't get it out of my head. for years. i couldn't remember the title of it. and i go, it goes -- ♪ da da da da doo doo doo doo doo doo and it makes you really happy. and i asked our horn section and no one knew the song. >> steve: nice job. >> jimmy: and -- then i asked questlove and i go, dude i don't know how your herb alpert game is, but -- i know it's my hand. it goes, "doo doo doo doo doo. and you go, "route 101." [ light laughter ] that's the name of the jam. but it makes you feel so happy. do you have it up there? ♪ it just starts, it just chills, like, okay. like something you hear -- and then some. you just say, "hit it," and then he goes, "it's cool." like and then all of a sudden it kicks in. like, "what's that?" ♪ [ light laughter ] ♪ >> jimmy: it just makes you happy! ♪ i mean, yeah. he just brings it on back. okay, stop it for a second. so you can say anything. you could be having the worst
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day. he goes, "kids, i just got laid off. and i hate to tell you, there's not gonna be a christmas this year. ♪ [ laughter ] ♪ >> jimmy: that's the jam. that's it right there. anyway, guys we have a great show tonight. he's one of the biggest movie stars of all time, and the best dude. from the giant new movie, "kong: skull island," samuel l. jackson is stopping by. [ cheers and applause ] samuel l. jackson! >> steve: come on. >> jimmy: the best. he's the best. >> steve: he is the best. >> jimmy: sam and i are going to talk about the movie. then we're gonna get into a fun new bit called "facebook rants." so stick around for that. it's going to be good. plus she's an amazing actress. from the new movie, "brimstone," dakota fanning is here! [ cheers and applause ] and we have great music from ed sheeran, everybody! [ cheers and applause ]
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guys, today is friday and that's usually when i catch up on some personal stuff. i check my inbox, return some emails and of course send out thank you notes. [ cheers and applause ] i was running a bit behind today. so, i thought if you wouldn't mind, i would write out my weekly thank you notes right now. is that cool with you guys? [ cheers and applause ] appreciate that. james, can i get some thank you note writing music, please? ♪ he's in a better mood than last week. >> steve: yeah, wow. [ light laughter ] oh not now. now! >> jimmy: james, try to be, try to be angry. fred, play the music. ♪ thank you, fred. ♪ thank you, photo of kellyanne conway in the oval office, for looking like a a teenager when their mom was trying to vacuum the living room. [ laughter and applause ] >> steve: whatever, mom!
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♪ >> jimmy: thank you, high schoolers that can grow goatees, for basically saying, "i'm in the prime of my life but i want to look like a dad who's in his second marriage." [ laughter and applause ] ♪ thank you, congress, for looking like you got your carpet from a greyhound bus. [ laughter and applause ] ♪ thank you, beef, for being the only meat i got a problem with. [ laughter and applause ] >> hey ho! >> steve: hey oh! >> jimmy: hey oh! [ light laughter ] was that the real cd or was that you making that noise? >> steve: it was me making noise. >> jimmy: i couldn't tell the difference. >> steve: you couldn't tell the difference at all. >> jimmy: do it again. i'll close my eyes and i'll know.
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i'll know if it's you or the real song. >> steve: ma noma me nom. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: i think that's -- >> steve: what was it? that's the real song. the real track. >> steve: wrong! that was me. >> jimmy: what? fred, can you play the real one? ♪ all right that's enough. now let me hear yours again. >> steve: ma nom ma ne mom. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: identical. >> steve: that's pretty mind bending. >> jimmy: complete identical. identical. >> steve: mind-blown. >> jimmy: mind-dentical. the vocal styling's. [ laughter ] your pen broke. ♪ >> jimmy: thank you, hotel jacuzzis for somehow make it not seem weird that i'm taking a hot bath with strangers. [ laughter and applause ] a little odd. >> steve: mind if i jump in? >> jimmy: you chewing that too, man? >> steve: oh, that's my band-aid. [ laughter ] ba dabba da bab. [ laughter ] ♪ >> jimmy: fred, where were you? you were late. forget it, you're late. you're late. fred, you gotta be on that,
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man. oh, that's my band-aid. ♪ fred, no, no, already did it. ♪ >> jimmy: thank you, red velvet cake for having a name that perfectly describes your appearance, while also giving zero clues as to what you're actually made of. [ laughter and applause ] red velvet cake. >> steve: it's human blood. ♪ >> jimmy: that's it, fred. that's it. perfect. ♪ that was perfect, fred. ♪ >> jimmy: thank you magnets, for being so damn attractive. [ laughter and applause ] ♪ >> jimmy: i feel like we do it to every joke now. [ light laughter ] have fun. you're allowed to, yeah.
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please, we need it, we need it. ♪ >> jimmy: no, fred, i don't need that! [ laughter ] >> steve: you said have fun. >> jimmy: i know, i know, i know. i don't want fred having fun. >> steve: okay. but he can have some fun. >> jimmy: fred is at work. the audience can have fun. >> steve: audience can have fun. you got to be clearer, dude. ♪ >> jimmy: thank you, fluffer nutter for sounding like an over-dubbed curse word in a tbs movie starring samuel l. jackson. "say what again, i dare you, i double-dare you, fluffer nutter!" ♪ >> jimmy: thank you, "la la land" for inspiring us all with your heartbreaking but beautiful story. i'm sorry. [ laughter ] ♪ thank you, "moonlight" for inspiring us all with your heartbreaking but beautiful story. [ cheers and applause ] there you have it. those are our thank you notes. we'll be right back with samuel l. jackson. [ cheers and applause ]
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♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: we are joined right now by a great, great actor who anchors one giant hit movie after another. the latest of which will open a a week from today in theaters, and imax 3-d. it's called "kong: skull island." please welcome back a "tonight show" favorite, samuel l. jackson! ♪ [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> jimmy: samuel l. jackson! >> good to be back. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: you know how to make an entrance. >> i just thought, you know what -- >> jimmy: you know how to make an entrance. >> i was sitting backstage and i thought you were like doing some like ode to the blue man group 'cause the tv in my dressing room looks like this.
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>> what? is that the way we're broadcasting? am i blue? [ light laughter ] that's so weird. >> i was like they're doing an ode to the blue man group tonight. >> jimmy: yeah, i'm like dude, i don't get any of this stuff they're doing. we love it when you're here, man. >> thank you. >> jimmy: congrats on everything. i love, we love your movies. obviously i love the capital one. i love that. >> now you know what? i didn't realize until a couple of weeks ago, we were doing the new group of road to the final four commercials with me, spike, and charles barkley. >> jimmy: you know i love both those guys. >> yeah, but every year we do this like road trip. it's like we're on our way to the final four. all happening. i didn't realize that was your job for a minute. >> jimmy: capital one? >> yeah. >> jimmy: i put them on the map. >> yeah, i heard. [ light laughter ] >> jimmy: yeah. >> i used to actually sit at home and after you finished, or alec baldwin was finished i would say to myself, what's in your wallet, what's in your wallet. >> jimmy: yeah. >> see how i would say it.
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>> jimmy: i can do that, yeah. >> all of a sudden it's like somebody says you want to do that? i'm like, sure! you know. >> jimmy: i miss those -- >> no, it's a great gig, man, we have great time doing it. >> jimmy: they're really nice guys. >> me, spike and charles, you know, we're all like ball fans. so every year we get this really great opportunity to hang out together and do -- >> jimmy: how fun is that? >> really, really wacky kind of road trip thing -- >> jimmy: why not? right? >> and charles is the kind of guy that doesn't mind making fun of himself. >> jimmy: yeah, he's the best. >> so we enjoy doing that with him. >> jimmy: spike, did you know spike did our opening, "the tonight show" opening that you see every night. >> oh yeah? >> jimmy: spike lee shot that, yeah we went around new york city and so please give him my love. >> yeah well if you get a a chance, and you happen to be watching sports, march 11th is when we start our road trip to the final four. >> jimmy: we'll be watching. >> run that clip! >> jimmy: no we don't have one. >> oh, we don't -- [ laughter ] >> jimmy: you know, it's not out yet. >> aw man. i was looking forward to seeing one of them. >> jimmy: i saw you at the oscars, you looked great as always, and you got to present, no he did, for best original score and you also narrated "i am not your negro." >> yeah.
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>> jimmy: which is nominated for the best feature documentary. i haven't seen that yet. >> oh you need to see it. >> jimmy: i cannot wait for it. >> it's awesome. it's actually a documentary film. you know that you can go and watch in the movie theater, unlike o.j., i don't think you're going to spend eight to ten hours in a theater watching that. but it's good, 13 was great so the really packed and tight competitive category. >> jimmy: it was. it really was. >> but james baldwin, really important writer, stuff that's in that film you could sit there and watch that film and if you close your eyes you could think we were talking about now. >> jimmy: really. i can't wait. >> it's really awesome. >> jimmy: i'm going to go check that out. i saw you posted on facebook something, because the new king kong movie, "kong: skull island," this is real. this is a picture of you and king kong. look at how giant, that's a a real -- >> yeah. >> jimmy: that's a giant, giant gorilla. >> yeah. >> jimmy: that is insane. that's real? >> um, you know, the interesting thing about that is, the whole time we were shooting the movie, we never
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knew he was that big. had no idea he was that big. >> jimmy: i mean seriously. >> i mean you know you always ask the question, where is it? how big is it? how fast is it? you got different answers depending on who you ask. >> jimmy: right. >> you know so sometimes they would say look at that tree right there. you go, that's it? all right. well the rock above the tree. which is like way over there somebody said he can jump from this place to that place. that's like two mountains. is he that big? so, we never got a great answer from anybody about that. >> jimmy: does it move and everything like that? >> oh yeah, he's awesome. >> jimmy: that thing's like super big budget and crazy. >> yeah. >> jimmy: i can't read what you wrote on facebook. so i thought maybe if you would like -- >> i wrote -- why is this mother [ bleep ] kong island movie all up in my shot? [ laughter ] >> jimmy: there you go, yeah. >> and then i -- hashtagged photobombing ass ape. >> jimmy: yeah, there -- yeah. >> but you know what, see?
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part of that's your fault. >> jimmy: no way, you can't blame me. >> because i didn't even have a a twitter account until i came on the show one time and you -- you said you have to have a a twitter account, and my first tweet was from here -- >> i know. >> and it was similar. which started my multiple spellings of mother [ bleep ] online. i can't say that on tv? >> jimmy: what was your first tweet? >> can a mother [ bleep ] say [ bleep ] on here. >> jimmy: legendary tweet now. legendary tweet. changed the twitter-verse forever. you can by the way, i guess you can. >> yeah i guess so. i guess. >> jimmy: i guess you can. let's talk about "kong." this is action-packed, i mean this is what -- this is a popcorn movie this is what you want to go see. >> oh, totally. >> jimmy: it's a giant monster and i i don't want to spoil it, but there's other giant monsters. >> there's other things, yeah. well i mean you can't have a a monster movie with only one monster, you got to have more than one monster to have a a dope-ass monster movie. >> jimmy: yeah, exactly no. >> so we got more than one
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monster, we running from all kinds of stuff, or running into by accident things that we didn't know were on this island once we discovered kong was there, and it's funny, i i've been reading like these reviews. it's getting glowing reviews right now. but, everybody talking about the underlying environmental message, and you know the thing about you know, the end of the vietnam war. >> jimmy: yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. >> politics of the movie. hell no! it's a monster movie! >> jimmy: it's about king kong, a giant gorilla! >> we're being chased by things -- >> jimmy: chased by giant monsters, yeah. >> you know, and i actually get the chance to like -- >> jimmy: it's a fun movie. >> and i get a chance to like not be afraid of kong. ever since i was a kid, you go to king kong movie, we come home, we pretend to run from kong. but i actually reach a point in this movie where when i meet him. he's like killing my guys. i'm the commander of a a helicopter troop, and he's smacking the helicopters out of the air like they're butterflies and you know, it's on for me.
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>> jimmy: well there's only one dude i think that could take on a giant monster. >> right, so i got to stare him down. >> jimmy: yeah, exactly. >> it's like, i'm coming to get that ass. [ applause ] >> jimmy: you got to tweet that. you got to tweet that, yeah. we have a clip, it's a great clip. here's samuel l. jackson and his co-stars, it's the first time they meet their nemesis, "kong: skull island," is in theaters next friday, check this out. >> fox eight is down. fox four is down. >> respond, fox three. [ radio chatter ] >> oh, my god. [ radio chatter ] does anybody know what that is? >> i don't know, man! [ radio chatter ] >> roger.
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>> yeah, the monkey. >> what the hell is that? >> turn right, heading 2-5. >> somebody talk to me man. >> turn right heading -- >> fox leader to fox group, form a a perimeter. get in gunner position! >> kill that thing. >> i'm freaking out, man. >> fox leader to fox group, fire at will! >> jimmy: yeah! [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: i love it. >> yeah! >> jimmy: that's how you do it right there. >> that's it. >> jimmy: samuel l. jackson, and i are doing a new game called "facebook rants" after the break. stick around everybody. ♪ [ cheers and applause ] (vo) love. i got it. i gotcha baby. (vo) it's being there when you're needed most. love is knowing... he's the one. (vo)...it was meant to be. and love always keeps you safe. we're fine. (vo) love is why we built a car you can trust.
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"kong: skull island," go check it out, imax 3-d. samuel, i know that you're on social media. we were talking about that earlier. and i'm sure that you've seen those type of people who use facebook to rant about anything and everything. we all know those people. well i found a bunch of great rants on facebook and i think it would be fun to act them out. it is tonight for the "tonight show facebook rants." ♪ ♪ tonight show facebook rants ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: this first rant is by cindy b. and it's about girl scout cookies. do you like girl scout cookies? >> yes i do. my mom used to have a brownie troop so -- >> jimmy: oh really? >> it was certain time of year there were bunches of cookies in my house and i pigged out. >> jimmy: samoas? >> no, i ate the shortbread butter cookies. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: this one's about girl scout cookies. >> better than those thin mint things they used to sell. >> jimmy: i like thin mints. yeah, thin mint. [ cheers and applause ] >> ugh. really? >> jimmy: who eats shortbread butter cookies? >> come on man? >> jimmy: what are you talking about man? >> they were dope.
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they're a nice little shape to them. eat them -- eat the corners off and then pop the middle in. [ light laughter ] >> jimmy: i don't know what he's talking about. all right. we've got to get psyched up. get mad. get mad. this rant is about girl scout cookies. take it away. >> girl scout cookies are $4 a box! that's too high. if you want me to go into my purse and pay $4 for cookies, i'm going to need to see an actual girl scout selling cookies, and not her damn parents. [ light laughter ] how about she at least be nearby? last time i checked, it's called "girl" scouts. not "mom and dad" scouts. if you don't have a sash, you don't get my cash! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> jimmy: that's a good slogan. they should take that one. all right. i'm going to do the next one. >> right. >> jimmy: this is by kraig h. kraig with a "k." [ light laughter ] interesting. >> yeah. >> jimmy: he's ranting about
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pop-tarts. here we go. i got to get into character. ♪ i'm sick and tired of people saying pop-tarts are better than toaster strudel. [ light laughter ] have you ever had a toaster strudel? they're just gooier, tastier, sweeter, pop-tarts. how are you going to eat a dry, brittle pop-tart. east a delicious, chewy toaster strude. look me in the eye and go, "i like pop-tarts better." go eff yourself, pal! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> jimmy: passionate. >> i like it. >> jimmy: yeah. [ talking over each other ] >> i like the way you attacked it. but i'm -- i'm -- i'm -- i'm still feeling brad pitt from "true romance." [ light laughter ] he's the kind of dude that would like rant about pop-tarts, because he like you know always stoked and always hungry. >> jimmy: we should get brad to come on and do that. >> yeah, that'd be awesome. >> jimmy: as someone who rants about pop-tarts? >> yeah. >> jimmy: we're gonna do that. i think that's a good idea. i like that guy. all right, this one -- [ light laughter ] this one, it's your turn. this next rant is by lauren k.
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and this is about walgreen's. >> first of all, does walgreen's have tissues? i could not find them! in my opinion, tissues should always be between allergy and cold or flu meds, not by paper plates! that's on the other side of the store! who the hell eats off of paper plates then grabs as tissue? [ light laughter ] does someone at walgreen's not know the difference between a a tissue -- and a napkin? [ laughter ] tissue equals blow your nose! napkin equals wipe your mouth! leave the napkins by the plates and put the tissues by the sudafed. i'm sick of it! pun intended! [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] ♪
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>> jimmy: that's how you do it. that's how you do it. that's how you do it. [ applause ] all right. this next rant is by jacob l. and it's about people messing with him. >> bully rant. ♪ >> jimmy: today is not the day to jack with me. [ light laughter ] i'm cranky and i have a short fuse and can go off at any time. other than that, it's a a beautiful day. [ light laughter ] but seriously, i'm not in a a good mood so don't even think about getting on my bad side. i can't believe how warm it is out, though. i had to wake up so early. the sun was barely out. it was beautiful. okay, rant over. that's it right there. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ like a roller coaster. there was an arc to it. >> yeah it is. >> jimmy: there's a story behind that one. ah, we have time for one more. this last rant is by kelsey m. and she's got something to say about milk. samuel, take it away.
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>> i am so tired of repeating myself. i'm not gross for drinking milk! [ light laughter ] i know i'm not a baby cow. doesn't mean i can't enjoy milk. most animals will drink cow's milk if you give it to them. they just lack the ability to get it for themselves. if they had hands, i bet they'd be drinking milk, too. so get off your food high horse already and stop milk-shaming me mother [ bleep ]! >> jimmy: okay hey. hey! come one! hey! come on now! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ only you. samuel l. jackson! [ cheers and applause ] his new movie, "kong: skull island," is in theaters and imax 3-d next friday. stick around, we'll be right back with dakota fanning! [ cheers and applause ] ♪
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♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: our next guest is a a very talented actress who stars in the new movie, "brimstone," which is in select theaters and on demand march 10th. everyone, please welcome dakota fanning! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ ♪ >> jimmy: dakota, you look fantastic, thank you for coming back to the show. >> oh, thanks for having me. >> jimmy: you just celebrated a a really cool thing. i never knew there was a name for it, but a golden birthday. i don't know if everyone knows what that is? you do? i didn't know that. that's when you turn your age on the day of -- >> right. so i turned 23 on february 23rd. >> jimmy: hey. hey, that's awesome. so happy golden birthday! [ cheers and applause ] >> thank you. >> jimmy: did you do anything special? >> well, i went back to
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atlantic city. >> jimmy: you did? again? >> yeah. >> jimmy: see, i love that you go to atlantic city. this is hilarious. >> but this time -- but this time we went for two nights. >> jimmy: i know that's not your style. you're going for one night you get dressed up like you're going to a wedding. >> we had to differentiate -- we had to differentiate. >> jimmy: yeah, because it's a a birthday. >> because it was my birthday. so we had to make it a little more special. >> jimmy: well you don't really gamble, either? >> no, i don't, i don't really gamble. but i love going for some reason. >> jimmy: didn't you have a a voucher for $15 or something. >> and i forgot it. but not only did i forget that. so i took a party bus down, me by myself. [ light laughter ] >> jimmy: just sort of lay out. get to relax. do yoga poses all the way to atlantic city. >> me and my friends. there were other people on the bus. >> jimmy: that's fun. >> and i get -- we pull up and like of course you're amped. like, so excited. and i realize i left my purse at home with my i.d. and my wallet and everything. when i get out and i go up to the desk and i'm -- i'm hysterical. like i'm on the verge of a a full-blown meltdown.
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>> jimmy: because you're like, this is going to ruin my whole night. >> it's going to ruin my whole night. it's going to ruin my friend's whole night. like i was freaking out. then i was like i have a a digital copy of my passport and my i.d. and they're like "no, no, we can't believe that sorry." i was like, "it's my birthday please!" >> jimmy: do you want to call my mom? >> i know. >> jimmy: so would that help? >> someone had to bring it -- someone had to bring it down. >> jimmy: go back and get your -- somebody has to come back and get it. >> yes. but i got in and it was all good. >> jimmy: did you get any good presents? >> i did. i got to -- the trip. the fact that all my friends wanted to spend two nights in atlantic city to celebrate my birthday was a present. >> jimmy: yeah. i want to go gambling with you, once. because i haven't -- i don't gamble either. but i think it would be fun if me and you went and gambled to see who came out on top. >> yeah. i think anybody would come out more on top. >> jimmy: yeah. i'm bad. though i'm really bad. i haven't gambled in so long. we had jennifer lopez on the show yesterday, or two days ago? yesterday i think. i forget. but we just had her on and i was talking to her and she brought her mom. and that this was -- it was a
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a long and boring story, but i'll tell it, anyway. [ light laughter ] i went to atlantic city and i'm at the borgata, i want to say. is that where you went? >> that's where i was. borgata. >> jimmy: so we just -- i was doing the slot machines with my dad. and i would put the coin in and my dad would pull the thing. and we'd do "wheel of fortune" slot machines. so we put the dollar in, pull the -- >> totally. i'm familiar. >> jimmy: so my mom -- we did it for so long my mom was like, i'm going to play this. so we were just like, we're in the zone. we did it and like this cold machine it's going to hit. it's going to hit. we hit for $500. >> oh, my god. >> jimmy: major, right? >> well you know what happened to me? i was on a slot and i was sitting there cold, cold, and i was like, "okay, i'm done." and i look back over and a guy has slid his way over to my machine. >> jimmy: was he gonna grab it as soon you get off? >> yes. i watched him do that. >> jimmy: he can't do that. >> i watched him do that. and i got really mad. i got really mad about it. >> jimmy: yeah, you would. dude, come on. at least let me walk away. >> i thought that was like -- yeah. i was right there. >> jimmy: so -- back to my boring story. i -- we hit for $500 and we're like, "ooh ooh!"
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we're like, this is the best. wait until mom hears this. we're winners, we're the coolest. i love you, dad. i love you, son, forever, together. we're conga line dancing to our rooms. you know i'm like, see you tomorrow. we're going to go breakfast on us, ah. [ light laughter ] we get up. next thing you know, sometimes they deliver a paper outside your door in the hotel room. >> yep. >> jimmy: so i look at the headline. i'm not kidding, it says j. lo's mom hits slot machines for $2.4 million. >> no. oh my god. >> jimmy: the same machine. the same thing we were playing. >> wow! >> jimmy: yes! and i felt like such a loser. [ light laughter ] >> maybe -- do you think she slid her way over on to your machine? >> jimmy: she might have taken my stool. yeah. i haven't talked to my father since. anyway this is your golden birthday. i want to get you a present. so we got you a cool, hopefully you like this. it was number 23. >> oh my god! >> jimmy: number 23. that's yours. >> that's amazing! [ cheers and applause ] i love that. >> jimmy: you do? >> i could have this had to wear in ac. >> jimmy: right? okay. well when you go back. >> i've got to back and i'm gonna wear it. >> jimmy: don't forget to bring your i.d. >> oh my god, i love it. thank you. >> jimmy: okay, we love you.
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i want to talk to your movie, "brimstone." >> yep. >> jimmy: now it's guy pierce? >> yes. >> jimmy: i love guy pierce. >> i know. he's really amazing. >> jimmy: that's my guy. he's the funniest guy ever. >> he's really good. >> jimmy: but, he doesn't play funny in this movie? >> he does not. no, he plays a very mysterious, haunting character in this film. >> jimmy: what can you say about this? >> well i keep -- i was doing interviews next to the director at the venice film festival. and we had sort of this divider between us, and i said something about the film. and i just hear him go, "no, no, don't dakota, what are you doing? why are you saying that?" and i was like, "oh, sorry. okay." >> jimmy: spoiler alert. spoiler alert. >> yeah, i was like, "no. i didn't know." so now i'm terrified to say anything about it. >> jimmy: i mean you have to say something about it. >> no, no. so i play -- i play -- it's kind of a western. so i play a woman in the frontier and i'm mute in the film and guy pierce's character is a reverend and he sort of mysteriously comes back into my life and the film kind of is about our relationship. past and present. >> jimmy: there you go. that's it right there. i want to show a clip. here's dakota fanning and guy pierce in "brimstone." take a look at this.
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>> when the doubts rise in your heart? why are you troubled? how do you sleep at night? how does it feel to be a a murderess? ♪ do you know why i'm here? i'm here to punish you. >> jimmy: oh boy! [ cheers and applause ] dakota fanning, "brimstone" is in select theaters and on demand march 10th. we'll be right back with a a performance from ed sheeran! stick around, everybody! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ ♪ oh!
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♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: our next guest is a a grammy-winning musician who just became the first artist in u.s. history to debut two songs
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in the top ten simultaneously. performing the number one song in the country, "shape of you," off of his new album, "divide," give it up for ed sheeran! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ ♪ ♪ the club isn't the best place to find a lover so the bar is where i go me and my friends ♪ ♪ at the table doing shots drinking fast and then we talk slow you come over ♪ ♪ and start up a conversation with just me and trust me i'll give it a chance now ♪ ♪ take my hand stop put van the man on the jukebox and then we start to dance and now i'm singing like ♪ ♪ girl you know i want your love your love was handmade for somebody like me ♪ ♪ come on now follow my lead i may be crazy don't mind me say boy let's not talk too much ♪ ♪ grab on my waist and put that body on me come on now follow my lead
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come on now follow my lead ♪ ♪ i'm in love with the shape of you we push and pull like a magnet do ♪ ♪ although my heart is falling too i'm in love with your body ♪ ♪ last night you were in my room and now my bed sheets smell like you ♪ ♪ every day discovering something brand new i'm in love with your body ♪ ♪ oh i oh i oh i oh i i'm in love with your body oh i oh i oh i oh i i'm in love with your body ♪ ♪ oh i oh i oh i oh i i'm in love with your body ♪ ♪ every day discovering something brand new i'm in love with the shape of you ♪ ♪ one week in we let the story begin we're going out on our first date ♪ ♪ you and me are thrifty so go all you can eat fill up your bag and i fill up a plate ♪ ♪ we talk for hours and hours about the sweet and the sour ♪ ♪ and how your family's doing okay leave and get in a taxi then kiss in the backseat ♪
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♪ tell the driver make the radio play and i'm singing like ♪ ♪ girl you know i want your love your love was handmade for somebody like me ♪ ♪ come on now follow my lead i may be crazy don't mind me say boy let's not talk too much ♪ ♪ grab on my waist and put that body on me come on now follow my lead come on now follow my lead ♪ ♪ i'm in love with the shape of you we push and pull like a magnet do ♪ ♪ although my heart is falling too i'm in love with your body ♪ ♪ and last night you were in my room and now my bed sheets smell like you ♪ ♪ every day discovering something brand new i'm in love with your body ♪ ♪ oh i oh i oh i oh i i'm in love with your body oh i oh i oh i oh i i'm in love with your body ♪ ♪ oh i oh i oh i oh i i'm in love with your body ♪ ♪ every day discovering something brand new
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i'm in love with the shape of you ♪ ♪ come on be my baby come on come on be my baby come on come on be my baby come on come on be my baby come on ♪ ♪ come on be my baby come on come on be my baby come on come on be my baby come on come on be my baby come on ♪ ♪ i'm in love with the shape of you we push and pull like a magnet do m ♪ although my heart is falling too i'm in love with your body ♪ ♪ last night you were in my room and now my bed sheets smell like you ♪ ♪ every day discovering something brand new well i'm in love with your body ♪ ♪ come on be my baby come on come on be my baby come on i'm in love with your body ♪ ♪ come on be my baby come on come on be my baby come on i'm in love with your body ♪ ♪ come on be my baby come on come on be my baby come on i'm in love with your body ♪ ♪ every day discovering something brand new
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i'm in love with the shape of you ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: ed sheeran! "divide" is available now. we'll be right back, everybody! [ cheers and applause ] ♪
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♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: my thanks to samuel l. jackson, dakota fanning, ed sheeran! [ cheers and applause ] and the roots right there from philadelphia, pennsylvania! [ cheers and applause ] stay tuned for "late night with seth meyers." thank you for watching. have a great weekend. i hope to see you next week. bye-bye everybody. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ ♪ ♪
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[ cheers and applause ] [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> announcer: from 30 rockefeller plaza in new york, it's "late night with seth meyers." tonight -- gwen stefani. senator from new york, kirsten gillibrand. music from tove lo. featuring the 8g band with andres forero. ♪ [ cheers and applause ] ladies and gentlemen, seth meyers. >> seth: good evening. i'm seth meyers. this is "late night." how's everybody doing tonight? [ cheers and applause ] yeah, great to hear. in that case, let's get to the news. president trump had dinner with mike pence in the presidential dining room today. pence said grace, and trump said, "there were 1.5 million people at my inauguration." [ lauger

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